By Lolly Daskal
Are you destroying your own success without even knowing it?
Are some of your personalities toxic and you have no clue?
Each of us has many personas- personalities that we embody.
Some personalities are positive and others are potentially harmful--and an important element of developing self-awareness is knowing which personas to nurture and which to neglect.
Here are seven of the most common personalities that are destroying your success. Pay attention because they are toxic and harmful.
1. The ambivalent persona:
If you live in a frequent state of conflicting reactions, beliefs, or feelings toward people and experiences, learn to resolve them internally. Even if it comes from being tuned in to subtleties, ambivalence makes you come across as wavering and uncertain. Foster instead a persona that is thoughtful but decisive.
2. The negative persona:
Negativity leads almost inevitably to defeatist thinking and cynicism. Train yourself to think in positive ways instead of viewing everything from a pessimistic mindset. Look for win-win solutions.
People like to joke about procrastination, but putting off or delaying something that requires immediate attention can be incredibly damaging. It can cause you to miss deadlines, since you don't have any pad for things to go wrong. And even if you manage to complete the task on time it's not likely to be your best work. If procrastination is an issue for you, break projects down into smaller tasks and hold yourself to a schedule.
4. The jealous persona:
People get jealous when they feel that someone else has something that should be theirs; they often blame others around them rather than recognizing their own emotions. Envy is harmful enough that it's one of the seven deadly sins--it robs you of any contentment or joy in the things you've accomplished and earned, focusing all your energy instead on what you lack.
5. The entitled persona:
When you come to believe that you deserve special privileges or treatment, that the rules shouldn't apply to you, or that you are above other people, you do set yourself apart--just not in the way that you intended. The primary effect is that it becomes nearly impossible to develop the relationships that are critical to success.
At the core of victimhood is refusing to accept your part in causing a problem and being unable to accept responsibility--instead blaming others or just refusing to acknowledge the problem. Legitimate success requires a sense of personal responsibility and accountability.
Each one of us has imperfections, whether we accept them or not. Seeking perfection in ourselves and others is destructive. It's far healthier and more beneficial to admit to our flaws and bring them into the light rather than rendering the false front of a supposedly perfect life.
The narcissist persona:
If you believe that you deserve success and you're willing to go to extreme lengths to ensure that that it happens, even at the expense of others, if you view other people as competition or threats and tend to look out only for yourself, your narcissistic tendencies are alienating the people around you. Come down to the level of reality and realize that you're no better or worse than anyone around you. Then you can relate to others and build relationships.
There are plenty of other possible personas, positive and negative. Devote some time to thinking about your own personas and how you should be dealing with them. When you successfully manage your tendencies, you'll never find yourself standing in the way of your own success. Be intentional and be successful.